Plumbers are the best
by Sidus Alatus
Summary: Mario and Luigi show case their plumbing skills and tell you what makes them the best!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Mario and Luigi or any characters and or objects from the Mario franchise.**

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 _Mario and Luigi in_

 _Plumbers Are The Best_

"Hello it's a Mario here."

"And Luigi!"

"And we're here to tell you why plumbers are the best." Mario said.

"That's right we are the best" Luigi said while dancing a little jig. "We are the best!" Mario joins in and does a jig too before continuing.

"Reason number 1. We use the big tools." Mario says this with a nod.

"And lots of them too" Luigi added in while holding a foot and a half pipe wrench in his left hand and a ten inch crescent wrench in his right.

"We can do better than that…" Mario says before running to his shed and coming back with a set of twelve inch channel locks in one hand and a two foot pipe wrench in the other. Luigi, not to be outdone by his older brother runs to his shed and grabs the three foot pipe wrench he returned to see Mario with his four and five foot pipe wrench.

Luigi ran and grabbed the sledge hammer. Mario went and got the chipping hammer. Luigi got the jack hammer. Mario brought out the concrete cut saw.

"Where are you going?" Mario called out as Luigi took off running down the road. "Huh. I guess I'll have to finish on my own…"

"Reason number 2. We're not afraid to dig" Mario said as he grabbed a shovel and stuck it in the ground. He heard a rumble and turned around.

Mario jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a big iron bucket attached to a metal boom. He looked up to see a green backhoe with Luigi at the controls.

"Mamma-mia... you almost killed me Luigi."

"I knew you would move."

"Where have you been keeping that thing?" Mario asked his brother.

"At my mansion." Luigi said as if it were common knowledge.

"Anyway we're on reason two now."

"Oh good stand back" Luigi told Mario as he stuck the bucket into the ground and pulled it toward him.

"Luigi! Wait!" Mario yelled to his brother, but it was too late. Luigi pulled up grass, dirt, rock, and pipe. "Luigi! You hit the irrigation line." Mario groaned.

"Oops… how was I supposed to know it was there?"

"We put it in!"

"Oh.. I'll fix it." Luigi sighed.

"Ok while he fixes that we'll move on to reason number three. We're not afraid to get dirty. Plumbers come into contact with all kind of dirt and grime" said Mario.

"I'm done! Just gotta let the glue dry."

"That was fast. Oh my.." Mario mumbled as he saw Luigi covered in mud from head to toe.

"What? I didn't want to miss out." Luigi said.

"Reason number four. We use the snake. Luigi where did you put the snake at?" Mario asked him.

"We didn't break it out with the other tools?"

"No. We'd be here all day if we got out every big tool we have to use. It's in the garage" Mario reasoned.

Luigi ran to the garage and came back wheeling a cart that had a small electric motor with a belt going to a skinny metal barrel with a spring coming out the middle of it and inside the spring was a metal cable poking out with a hook up for different attachment heads at the end.

"Ok where do you want it?" Luigi asked his brother.

"Right here. Now get the extension cord."

Luigi ran and got the extension cord and brought it back. Mario was looking at him like he was stupid.

"What?" Luigi asked.

"You didn't plug it in." Mario answered him.

"Oh not a problem." Luigi looked around for the closest plug. The closest outlet was… all the way back at the garage. He ran to the garage with the plugin end and plugged it in; he ran back and went to plug the snake in and realized the other end was ten feet back. He had grabbed the fifty foot cord and they were sixty feet away.

"Get another cord Luigi…"

Luigi ran and got another cord; he plugged it into the other cord. He grabbed the plug on the snake and plugged it in too.

Mario stepped on the air switch (a half ball with a hose running to the motor) and the machine came to life as the cable came out of the barrel and started to spin across the ground while traveling further away.

"You see the cable will travel through the pipe until it hits the clog. It'll then cut its way through the clog or pull the debris back out depending on the head." As Mario explained how the snake worked the cable was tying itself in a knot.

"Mario!" Luigi yelled as he pointed to the cable.

"Oh no. Quick Luigi get it untangled before the metal kinks and it tries to stay that way." Mario told Luigi after taking his foot off the switch.

Luigi began to wrestle with the cable trying to get the knot out. It was nasty; the cable was covered in rust and... well we'll call it more rust.

"Good thing we wear gloves" Mario said while looking at his spotless white gloves. He looked over toward Luigi whose gloves were a rust coloured brown at this point.

It was gonna take more than bleach to get that stain out. _I don't know why we chose white ones though._ Mario thought to himself as Luigi finished undoing the knot.

"Done" said Luigi.

"Good deal" Mario put the machine in reverse and reeled the cable back in. "Now what are you doing?" Mario asked his brother.

"I'm turning the irrigation on to test my repair" Luigi told him. He turned it on and everything looked good until a small geyser blasted out of the hole. Luigi shut the water off and ran over to his hole. "Aww. The pipes got a crack in it… I'll fix it" Luigi sighed.

"Well while he's fixing it twice to do it right we'll move on to reason number five. Plumbers got strong stomachs. If it makes us queasy you know it's disgusting." Mario said this proudly.

"That should do it. I just gotta let the glue dry." Luigi said as he walked up.

"Just in time for reason number six. We're not claustrophobic. Now go through that crawl space Luigi." Mario pointed at a small access door on the side of the house close to the ground.

"But it's dark under there" Luigi complained.

"Ah! Reason number seven. We're not afraid of the dark." Mario handed him a flashlight.

"But what about bugs, rodents, and snakes?" Luigi asked Mario.

"Alright! Reason number eight. Pest don't bother plumbers. Now come on Luigi you're a Mario you can do this! Plus you've done it before."

"You're right there's nothing to it!" Luigi exclaimed. With his confidence boosted he opened the access door and got a smell of the musty air before crawling in.

"What do you see?"

"Nothing the batteries in this flashlight are dead."

"Tap the back of it."

Luigi tapped the flashlight and it illuminated his surroundings.

"Now what do you see?" Mario asked.

"A mess. I'm gonna crawl to the other side and make sure nothing's leaking."

Mario could hear Luigi grunt and groan as he squeezed his way through a tight spot. "Are you alright under there?"

"I'm stuck."

"Suck in that gut!"

"What gut? I can't get no skinnier… Oof. I'm through." Luigi came crawling back out. "Everything looks good under there. I'm gonna check the irrigation." Luigi went and turned it on. "Looks good I'm gonna cover it up." Luigi jumped in the backhoe and covered the hole.

"Reason number nine. No one else gets excited about a clogged toilet!"

"Ohh…" Luigi groaned.

"What's wrong Luigi?"

"I take it you want me to unclog our toilet?"

"No it's not clogged. Now for reason number ten. If it weren't for your plumber there would be no place to go!" Mario said with a chuckle. Then he noticed his brother walking away. "Hey Luigi where are you going?" Mario asked as his brother walked down the driveway toward the road.

"I'm going to find another job!" Luigi shouted back.

Mario looked around at the mess they had made and thought about everything they had just gone over before running after his brother. "Wait for me Luigi!"

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 **Just poking fun at my job a little. I hope y'all enjoyed learning what it takes to be a plumber.**


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